For the last year or so I’ve been on a diet program. I had never been on one in my 45 years on this earth, but I needed a push to kick-start a change and I knew I couldn’t do it myself. The immediate appeal was seeing results from people I know, who did the program, and that was the hook that drew me in to learn more.
All diet programs have a great marketing strategy to gain more customers. And selling thin is very in. I went all-in and stayed disciplined, desperate for that life preserver to rescue me from my bad habit, unhealthy haze. The results came promptly as promised and I was suddenly motivated, rejuvenated, and full of hope. Rapid progress is what I wanted in that moment, and it worked.
I lost 35 lbs. in six months. I felt great physically, mentally, and emotionally. Then vacation happened. It would seem that falling off the wagon and gaining back the weight (some even gain more) is par for the course in diets. Many have argued as much and that’s what makes people weary of diets, especially fad diets. But, for me I was interested in the ‘learning healthy habits’ aspect of the program, which was actually a pretty good system. It first starts in fat-burn mode, so you see results quickly and then starts to focus on your eating habits, teaching you how to eat. The philosophy is simple, eat foods that are well balanced in nutrients and vitamins, and apply portion control.
Portion control and unhealthy food choices are a big part of North American culture. We want and sometimes need fast and easy because our lives are busy, and groceries are expensive. That often leads to buying foods that are less nutritious.
I liked the program’s system of altering your eating schedule according to what your body needs and slowly transitioning you into eating, what I call, “regular food.” Of course, they have their own food that you have to buy to do the program, and that’s how they can predict a pretty accurate outcome of weight loss. That’s no real surprise to me and it actually makes sense. They can’t ensure weight loss when you’re just eating whatever you want. That is what a diet program is. You buy their food and they guide you on how to eat it and when.
As mentioned though, I liked that this program had a built-in resource showing you how to create better eating habits and that the process eventually weaned you off their food and into “regular food.” So, it worked…until it didn’t. However, I blame myself for losing my sense of discipline and making consistently poor choices. Vacations tend to do that. The point of building better habits is not to restrict yourself indefinitely, but also not to constantly make poor eating choices.
There’s a middle ground that lends to eating healthy and sticking to a regime of fresh foods and indulging from time-to-time within moderation and reason. I call it the balance between physical feel-good and emotional feel-good food. Do I need to eat chocolate or French fries, no. But do I want to, yes! Do I need to eat fruits and vegetables, yes. But do I always want to, no. Finding a way to balance it out is the greatest challenge. Too much of anything is not good for you. Even water! (Serious, look it up). It’s all about moderation. It’s also important how much of something you eat. How often will I eat chocolate and how much of it? How often will I eat a salad and how much of it? The how? is just as important as the what?
So, I spent the next 6-8 months unraveling all the hard work I did on my diet with similar bad eating (and drinking) I was doing before the diet. The worst part was, I was well aware of this undoing while it was happening. Almost like an out-of-body experience, I was watching myself day-to-day continuously making poor choices and even telling myself as much, but then doing it anyway. A big part of that was a part of me wanting to break out of the restriction of dieting and indulging. Much like a caged animal, when you are confined for a period of time your instinct is to break from it and go wild. So, I did.
DIET FAIL!
Which brings me to now. I decided to start the diet again a year later, but it hasn’t been going as successfully. I don’t know if my priorities have changed or if my focus and discipline is not as strong, but it’s been very difficult this time around. My health coach —oh yeah, I got a health coach with the program, which was a huge help in reaching my goal— would always say, whether you eat “on plan” or not it’s a choice. If you make a choice not to, move on and start again tomorrow. There’s been a lot of start-again-tomorrows.
An interesting concept that many of the people I look to for support and guidance have shared is, that when you have a goal, you have to answer the why? first. Why do you want to achieve this goal? What is your why? for doing this? Basically, what’s your purpose or reason for doing what you want to do? It’s a simple-sounding concept that seems pretty straightforward to apply to almost anything you want to achieve. But I’ve found this concept complex. Perhaps, I’m not taking the time to think it through and process why I want to achieve anything. We get caught up with doing or thinking about doing something and sometimes don’t complete that first piece or perhaps it doesn’t even occur to us. We sometimes do things because we feel we have to. However, if you don’t know why you’re doing it then it seems pointless, even when you think you have to.
I’m not sure what the coming months will hold for my diet journey. I do know that I have an optimal weight in my mind that I want to be at. And since I’ve already achieved it the first time around and know how I feel at that weight, I’m determined to get back there. How determined will present itself soon enough.
I also know that I have to answer my why? and commit with the same discipline and focus as before. Lastly, I know that I want to be off this diet eventually, it’s a means to an end and not meant to be a lifelong eating regime. This means, I need to reach my goal, learn what I need to continue once I’m off it, and transition properly (this time) so I have the best chance for success in good eating habits in the long term. I just don’t know what that looks like in reality yet. And that’s okay. In the meantime, I’ll be thinking about French fries while I’m eating my salad.
A xo
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