Just Breathe

There’s a popular saying, ‘just breathe’. Some have it as a tattoo to create permanence to a personal mantra; a reminder when life gets hard (I’m thinking about you Drew Barrymore!). Some have it as a quote written somewhere where they can look at it every day and reinforce what enriches their soul.  

I’ve been immersing myself in my yoga practice lately and even started a 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training course at my local studio (more on that later). And it’s never been more apparent to me than during this yogic journey that everything starts with ‘the breath’. I mean, of course, on a primitive level, we all need to breathe to exist. But what I’m talking about here is how our breath can affect so many things. Not just the breath itself, but more specifically, how we breathe. Shallow breath when we’re stressed, or belabored breath when we’re angry, that sort of thing.

Our emotions usually operate much like a rollercoaster, mostly because we encounter many things in our lives that create these different emotions. Sometimes it’s joy, excitement, happiness, and delight. Other times, it’s sadness, disappointment, anger and fear. And our breath operates accordingly. Since I’ve been made hyperaware of my breathing thanks to my yoga practice and meditation, I’m also able to use breathing as a way to manage my emotions. Or at least try to.

We are harder on ourselves than anyone else, especially when we make a mistake. We feel the anxiety building up inside us and our fight or flight reflex kicks in. Ever notice in that moment how shallow your breath is? In regulating the breath, we can take a step back, process, assess, and maybe, think of how we can show that same kindness as we do to others, and to ourselves.

This week as I was wracking my brain, consumed in thought, by the many voices of irritation, impatience, disappointment, inadequacy, and most of all imperfection, chattering in my mind, when something happened.

In yoga class, my breathing was labored as I moved through my poses –as if it was the first class I had ever taken. I was impatient with myself when I lost balance in a pose or my technique was not correct. It was clear that my breath was responding to my emotions. Then, we came to stand at one point, and I looked in the mirror and noticed the shirt I was wearing. It said, “LOVE.”

Yes, I was wearing a yoga top that said, “LOVE.” What a concept! A message that everyone else was receiving that day except me until I was able to see my reflection, and suddenly the message was for me. The shirts we wear sometimes express a message or image that we can connect to (why else would we wear it?). Remember when I bought the top, I was delighted at the message and felt a connection to the message. But since then I haven’t noticed. Since it faces outward the message of love is for others so that they can feel good and fill their cup with positivity and encouragement. But in that moment, that split second, when I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed my shirt, my shirt expressed an inward message for me to receive. It said, you’re enough, you’re doing great, be more patient and gentler with yourself, and let go of whatever disappointment and judgment you have toward yourself. I love you.

I confess that I still left the class with a noisy mind and feelings of disappointment, from events and feelings that culminated this past week. But, that brief moment of recognition stayed with me. It stayed with me like a seed that just needs a bit of water and attention to grow. A seed that if I keep reminding myself and take the time to breathe through these moments will grow and eventually flower into something beautiful. I will give it strength and power with my breath. Breathing deep, breathing long, breathing with regulation and mindfulness. Through breath, I can focus on the peace that wants to break through. I can then set an intention of love for myself once I am wholly connected with my breath.

The lesson I learned here was to let my breath control my emotions and not the other way around. Once you regulate your breath and your emotions then it creates a peaceful mind for me to start that self-love and self-care I need in my life. It’s not easy and I’m still a student learning not just in my yoga practice but life itself. Aren’t we all? I’ll just have to take it one breath at a time.

A xo