Well…I did it! I’ve started a blog (big exhale). I’ve made three entries that I’m happy about. As happy as a perfectionist can be. Now what?
Plot twist.
I’m actually writing this three months later. Yes, I fell into the hole of fear and procrastination and have been trying to claw my way out since. Being a perfectionist, it has been a learning curve for me to accept that blogging in the beginning seems to be a quantity over quality thing. I’ve spent a lot of time reading blogs about blogging and the “experts” say to just get your content out there and be consistent. In other words, post and post often. I had a plan to do this. Create a few posts and then be two weeks ahead of schedule, so I was never in a last-minute situation like posting for the week ahead the night before. But I got stuck. Stuck on finding the time. Stuck on making sure my content was really great. Stuck on just doing it. Nike got it right with their slogan, “Just Do It”.
Sometimes, if you really want to make a go at something, you must push everything else aside, grab hold of your fear, stop the overthinking chatter in your mind, and just…do it! Just DO IT! So, here I am just doing it, filled with fear, ignoring my inner chatterbox and turning off my perfectionism. I recently came back to a book that I’ve had in my collection for exactly 20 years. It’s called “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers. The book was originally published in 1986, but the book was updated in 2007, five years before Jeffers passed away. Her book covers the many ways in which we fear facing life, making decisions, taking a chance, and trying something new. Her solution is simple, “the only way to get rid of the fear is to approach it”. She explains in her book that “the hard truth is that fear won’t just go away on its own, and that it’s possible to connect with an “inner power” that will help us get through whatever it is we’re too fearful to face.
For a while, I wasn’t sure if this book applied to my situation. After reading some of her anecdotal examples of fears some people faced, it didn’t seem to resonate. Mainly because I didn’t fear any of those things she gave as examples. But I realized two things. Everyone has a different perspective on fear. Some people fear tangible things like spiders and thunderstorms and some people fear intangible things like job interviews and life after a divorce. All different but one is no less scary than the other. It’s all relative to the person. So, I may not fear what they fear but there’s tons of people who don’t fear what I fear. The second, and most important realization, is that my fear is not an outside entity. It’s an inside job. I fear my abilities and capabilities. I fear my belief in myself and my worthiness of achieving something. My fear comes from my lack of self-confidence. If I’m too busy afraid of doing it or questioning myself if I can do it, then that means I’m not spending the time doing it. My fear became a brick wall between me and my goal to blog.
Another plot twist.
That last sentence is a completely present-moment realization. I am today years old learning this about myself. This is a live A-HA moment people. Wow. To continue, I pushed through my doubt about how this book applied to me and kept reading. Then I started to realize that it’s not about what you fear. It’s about how you handle it. And according to Jeffers, anything can be handled. How you ask? Hold on to your seats for this mind-blowing piece of information. It’s the power of positive thinking. Not new information, you say. Yeah, I know. But, how many of us struggle with it? (My hand is raised by the way).
I’ve spent most of my life learning this and it’s still an ongoing process for me. It’s so easy to think negatively when something terrible happens in your life. And Jeffers is asking us to see the glass as half full in those moments to get past it and your path will open up into a world of opportunity. It put into perspective what I’ve been up against and how I can think about it differently. Or not at all…the past is the past. Jeffers gives an example in her book of a guy she met while working as the Executive Director of the Floating Hospital, based in NYC.
This guy, who had a dark past of being in a gang and was paralyzed from getting shot, had years later worked at the hospital counseling kids on how to avoid getting into trouble as he did. She had an opportunity to speak with him and asked him how he was so positive. He told Jeffers that he’s grateful for the accident because he was able to realize his life’s purpose, which was to help people in their struggle. He wanted to inspire others to do what seems impossible and show them that he’s proof that it can be done. Jeffers notes that it wasn’t easy for him in the beginning to arrive at this perspective and in fact, wanted to give up on life. But, when given the choice to get rehabilitation and learn how to live in this new way or spend the rest of his days struggling on his own, he chose help which provided a path of opportunity for him.
Life is always going to have challenges, some expected and some not. But you get to choose how you handle it. Starting this blog was a choice I made because I love to write, and I want to connect with others through this passion of mine. But, the only one holding me back from fulfilling my dreams is myself. This may seem cliché to say all this, unless you’ve entered a point of self-discovery like I have, and the words actually mean something. It’s like breaking a code. It’s just words until you can really see the meaning behind them because you’re living it. I won’t say I’ve cracked the code yet. I’m a work in progress. But aren’t we all?
For, now, I’ll just feel my fear, and DO IT anyway.
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